Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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