I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Found the puke drawer
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
