The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Boobs speak an international language.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
