so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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