omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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