Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So squirting runs in the family.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
