My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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