you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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