Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
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I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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