He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
