He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
