You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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