i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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