People in love make me want to vomit
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
there is glitter all over my balls
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