it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
