I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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