I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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