I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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