'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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