It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.