thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
