My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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