Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
