Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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