Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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