Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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