guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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