Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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