I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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