Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
