after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
