She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
