ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
