I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
