It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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