You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
