With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
