Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
