Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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