How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
