The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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