Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
