I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
