Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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