Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
