if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
pray to the hookup gods
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
