What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
