It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
