everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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