This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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