just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Best friends brother. Beat that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
