That's intense
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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