is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
