chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
