The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
