Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
