now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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