Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
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Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize