You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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