last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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