From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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