I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
