I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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