The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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