so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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