you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
