My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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