can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
