coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
now i know why i became what i already was.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
