i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
