Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
