He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
