Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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