So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
