I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
don't judge my taste in strippers
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
